Not Prime Time Letter

[pameluke]

 

Dear Optimus Prime,

I’m looking forward to your gift so much! It’s my first time participating in this exchange, so I’m very excited. 

I’ve written the following letter as a sort of buffet so you can pick and select whatever catches your fancy and write something we’ll both enjoy. 

I’m a firm believer in Optional Details are Optional, so as long as you respect my few DNWs it’s going to be great! 

I can be found on AO3 as pameluke and on tumblr as janoda.
 

GENERAL DNW’S 

Please no references, even implied or offhand, to anything terrorism related, civilians dying, or bombs. Thank you.

Regarding violence and other possible triggering things,  if it happens to characters in canon, I can deal with it happening to them in fic.  Basically, I can deal with everything as long as it at the same intensity level of canon. 

• No Requested Characters Doing Non-Con
• No Power Imbalance between requested characters, so if Under Influence (alcohol, drugs, Heats, Sex-Pollen… I prefer ALL of them to be Under Influence)
• No Underage
• No Violence Between Characters I’ve requested
• No Character Death (with characters who die in canon, either set the story before they die, or make it an X Lives AU)
• No Humiliation
• No Infantilisation, please don’t describe adults as boys or girls
• No Scat

Otherwise, I’m game. The rating can be as high or low as you want, as long as it’s consensual I’m okay with any kink, and the fouler the language the better.  

 

GENERAL LIKES, TROPES, AND AUs 

I love canon fic, slice of life fic, expansion on worldbuilding, adventures in nature, food and cooking related fic, loyalty kink, competence kink, hurt-comfort, found families, random domesticity and slice of life fic. 

I love fic in which a relationship is explored, and don’t mind if that’s the main plot. I can deal with angst, but I’d like to have some kind of happy resolution at the end, even if it’s Happy For Now. 

I’d prefer all fic to be set in their respective Canons, but I definitely love Alternate Canons and Canon Divergences. I’m very big on a lot of tropes. I love tropes. Seriously, give me all the fandom cliches, I gobble them up. I especially love inversions and subversions, or just played straight. Some of my favorites: 

• Soulbonds, in all forms, with marks or no marks, with relationships between the actual bonds or out of them, telepathic powers, or only bad side-effects.
• Fake relationships that turn real. In all forms. For all reasons
• Living by the Nile, or “What feelings? Me? No Way, Good Sir, Never (I love you)”
• Elaborate Plans Gone Wrong,
• Awkward Flirting
• Awkward Sex
• Competent People and the People who fall for them, all the Competence Kink, seriously
• N Times Characters Did A Thing
• Marriage/Relationship of convenience, turned REAL
• Interspecies Relationships, especially when there’s lots of cultural differences

 

GENERAL PORN KINKS & LIKES

General Things I like for all pairings and fandoms I’ve requested. 

• Enthusiastic consent, this is my biggest kink always
• Anal Sex, Vaginal Sex, Oral Sex, Non-Penetrative Sex, Cunnilingus, Blow Jobs, Rimming, Fingerfucking
• Awkward Sex, Awkward Sexual Situations, especially if there’s a lot of laughter during sex
• Biting, Claiming Bites, Marking
• Body Worship
• Desperate Arousal/Sexual Frustration, Desperate Sex
• Floor Sex, Wall Sex, Table Sex
• Lazy/Gentle Sex, Comfort Sex
• Manhandling/Shows of Athleticism During Sex
• Outdoor Sex, Sex in Nature
• Pegging, Sex Toys
• Reunion Sex
• Something Made Them Do It (All of them)
• Wet & Messy

In general, I like narrative sex and a little plot with my porn. I love character introspection, character development, and relationship development through sex. For me, sex is both about the pleasure people can derive from each other and about the emotional connection that can be made. 

Everything is hotter when emotions are involved.

You can ignore everything that’s not to your liking or doesn’t inspire you. On to the fandom-specific stuff, YAY.

 

THE OC

Who I requested: Ryan atwood, Taylor Townsend (Ryan Atwood/Taylor Townsend)

Why I love the canon: The moment I saw these two were nominated I rewatched all their scenes together from the last season. Just, Taylor Townsend and her healing powers of quirky goodness still get to me, all this time later. And I’ll never get over the fact how Ryan managed to pull himself out of everything life threw at him, and became a relatively stable and good person. I always loved that they were very different and very differently broken people, who still managed to find common ground, and just started the healing process together. They made each other better people I think, which is all I want from my fictional relationships. Also, their whole relationship was genuinely funny, and A) we’re talking about Ryan here, and B) I think the OC needed that after all the Marissa drama. (Who for the record, I don’t dislike). They made me warm and fuzzy and hopeful. I was always kind of bummed that they were planning to put everything on the table, and then the earthquake thing happened and they just kind of didn’t? Which is the main reason I want fic for these two.

 

Prompts:

• Their time as students, long distance or just the occasional run-in as exes with benefits. I don’t think they were together the entire time, especially with Taylor being in Paris, but I totally think they just can’t resist every time they meet again (and are both uninvolved with anyone else).
• Them getting back together. I think it could have either gone really smooth and easy and organically, from a sort of friends with benefits situation, with neither of them really willing to risk taking it further, since this time it’s probably now or never. Or totally the opposite with long and savored UST that just explodes at some point, and fuck it the feelings are still there. And this time, they’re both in the right place at the right time together.
• I’d also be super into reading about their life together, and how they make it work together. First time living together, weird hang-ups that clash, and how they mesh their expectations with reality. I think Ryan deserves a little whimsey in his life, and Taylor deserves someone who’s on her side first and foremost, and I think those are things they’d bring into their relationship as adults as well.
• In a similar vein, their first holiday together, especially if it’s Paris, could be a glorious thing. 
• They’re both so bad at communicating, that I’d be super into reading about the ways they find to show their care and love and commitment together, that no one else really understands. They’d have to figure out something to make a long term relationship work, and I’m curious how they’d manage. Ryan Atwood becoming decentish at talking about his feelings might be my secret jam.
• I love Taylor’s wild and quirky plans and hobbies, and while I think she’ll become calmer and more sure of herself by becoming older, I think she’ll keep getting interested in a wide variety of things. I’d love to read about Ryan going along with her newest hobbies. For instance, at one point Taylor becomes a underwear for men designer for a hobby, and Ryan is her model, and other mad plans with surprising results.
• I love the whole paying it forward scenario at the ending of the series, and would love to read about Taylor dealing with having a second Ryan in the house, but also with the kid dealing with Taylor, and most of all I think bringing a kid like that home would have a huge impact on Ryan as well.
• Ryan dealing with being a, while anonymous, still recognizable to him inspiration for many a Romantic Hero in the Romance Novels (Erotica Novels?) Taylor writes on the side.
• These two were always combustable together, and I like to think that continues until late in life. I especially love that Taylor is the adventurous one of them and always up to try new things. I’m pretty much saying this always, but yes to all the Pegging, you know you want to, Taylor so totally does.

 

 

 

SHADOWHUNTERS

Who I requested: Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane (Alec Lightwood/Magnus Bane)

Why I love the canon: .

I love Alec because of his care and loyalty to his family. His desire to follow the law but also do what is right (I think he falls under lawful good). I will never be over the fact that his most prominent rune is Deflect, just fuck Alec, it’s okay to be SEEN, it’s okay to be valued. I have a lot of feelings about how he dealt with being in the closet (I think the show handled that subject well), and how he came out of it. I love how once he’s decided on something, he has ZERO CHILL and goes all-out. The kissing Magnus is the most obvious example of it, but I think the ‘Take what you need” moment is also very him. I love his relationship with Izzy, and how they have each other’s back when it counts. I was so proud when he finally stood up against Jace and spoke his mind. 

I have a lot of emotions about Magnus as well. He’s 400 years or something there about, but being immortal is never being young or old. He’s this super powerful magic user, but his main weapon are his flair and his words. He pretends to not care and be selfish, but he rescues his people, saves Luke, tries to save Izzy, and doesn’t give up on Alec. He’s obviously loved and lost a lot, and his conversation with Ragnor was everything to me. He’s just one mask on top of another, and he very rarely drops them. 

I love that both Alec and Magnus lower their defences with each other. I also loved how he pushed Alec by flirting and being obviously interested, and talking about it, but never ever crossed Alec's boundaries. The finger not touching the lip thing was so perfect, because of that. But also the line about Alec living in a DADT culture, and him being fine with it meant a lot to me. The goal was never to push Alec out of the closet. I also have a bazillion feelings about Magnus allowing himself to fall for a Shadowhunter in the first place, since the Circle was planning to exterminate his people, and killed so many of them, and the Clave honestly isn’t much better - their justice has never been just to Downworlders at all. 

If you feel like including other characters, feel free, I love everyone in the tag-set. I’m not very into Jace or Clary, however. I’m pretty much show only, haven’t read the books, but I have read The Bane Chronicles, and the Baby Acquisition Story from the Shadowhunter Academy stories, if you want to pull from there for backstory. I do vastly prefer the Show characterization though.

 

Prompts: Feel free to cut and paste to you liking, I’m jonising for anything for them really, as long as it has a happy ending, I’ll be happy.

• Dating Fic. Not necessarily the first, can be further on in the relationship. I think Alec and Magnus would have somewhat different ideas of what constitutes as a date, and I’d love the confrontation of that. Also, the possibilities with Magnus’ portals are just so endless, where can they go? I’m also very fond of how Alec is this mix of confident and no chill going for it, and shy and flustered. Same with Magnus, he’s pretty guarded and deflecting with all his flair and sass, but he lets himself be vulnerable with Alec. I’d love for these dynamics to evolve through dating. 
• Dates Gone Awry Fic. I imagine that with Alec shadowhunting and Magnus warlocking there’s be a lot of shenanigans interrupting their dates - especially if they go out in Downworlder establishments. I’d love for them to have to team up for a case somewhere, and have to learn to fight and work together. I love that they’re both attracted to how competent they are at what they do, but I also think they’d both be protective of one another, so would have to learn to actually fight together. 
• I have a huge thing for people painting each others nails. Either Alec painting Magnus’s, or Magnus painting Alec’s. Can be finger or toes, it’s the kind of feel good intimacy I really enjoy. 
• Likewise, I’m very much in Alec trying out (and liking) panties, and generally into Alec appreciating Magnus’s clothes. There’s a bunch of fic where Magnus magicks away his clothes with a snap of his fingers, but I like to think that Alec would enjoy taking off his outfits piece by piece, unwrapping him like the gift to mankind he his.
• I’m super intrigued by Alec’s runes and why he has the ones he has, and I imagine Magnus would be as well. So a fic with Body Worship would be super nice, especially if not only focussing on Alec’s runes, but also his scars. Also, I am convinced Magnus has hidden piercings and/or tattoos, so feel free to go wild on that side as well.
• Since Alec is pretty new to all this, I’m totally down to all the sexual experimenting, trying out new things, and the occasional awkward sex when things go wrong. I love that they both let their guards down for each other, so I imagine they laugh a lot in bed (BECAUSE THEY DESERVE ALL THE LAUGHTER).
• Magnus is quite magical, so, so must be the sex, I think. Don’t tell me Alec hasn’t fantasies about how Magnus could use magic during sex.
• I’ve got one prompt that’s based on The Last Stand Of The New York Institute from the Bane Chronicles, so spoilers for that below. Basically I’d love for a fic where Alec finds out that his parents not only killed innocent Downworlders during their time as Circlemembers, but also the Whitelaws, who were the Shadowhunters running the NY institute before the Lightwoods - Robert killed the youngest Whitelaw girl. Not only that but also that Magnus was a witness to that. 

 

KING ARTHUR (2004)

Who I requested: Bors/Dagonet/Vanora

What I love about canon: I really love the whole Sarmatian Auxiliary to the Roman army angle of King Arthur. 15 years of fighting in a war that is not yours, in a country that isn’t yours, for a country that is not yours. I love the easy friendship between all the knights, but also how very different they look upon their time in Britain. So much drama and fucked-upness right there.

And the there’s this moment relatively early in the movie, when Vanora sings, and Bors and Dagonet share a look, and every time I get fucking emotional about it. 

And just, they just want to go home, but the Romans fuck them over, and then Dagonet sacrifices himself and I drown in tears.

I have a mighty need for the three of them to LIVE happily ever after. Fuck, they’d be hot, and awesome and glorious together.

I love the obvious affection Bors feels for both Vanora and Dagonet, I love how Dagonet is this mountain of silent, but deep feelings, and I love how Vanora is possibly the only sensible person in that whole castle. 

 

Prompts:

I’d seriously love an Everybody Lives Canon Divergence, or a fic set before the movie. I’d rather avoid a fic set during the movie, because I’d rather not deal with Dagonet dying. DAGONET LIVES!!!

 

 

• I have a theory that obviously Bors’ 12 children are at least 50% strays Dagonet picked up. I’d love a slice of life type fic, where the three (try to) find an escape from the daily chaos of raising 12 children to get laid. Extra kudos if there’s a couple of awkward walk-ins and some failed attempts because sudden interruption. Sex in the outdoors seems like one possible solution to this problem.
• I did love all the fighting scenes a lot, and angsty fic when someone gets wounded, and the other two comfort them and each other would be delicious. Without the angst I’d also love Post-Battle victory sex, Thank God We’re Alive sex and Dammit, Looking at you fight makes me really horny sex. Could also be Post-Training sex, because I imagine Vanora to be an interested spectator whenever Bors and Dagonet spar. I’m convinced they’d have competitions between them to have the honor of eating Vanora out that evening.
• I really like seduction fic, so a story of how two of them seduce the third would be totally my jam. 
• I’d love a Soulbond AU, or an Animal Shifter AU, or both. Especially if there’d be cultural differences between the Britons and Sarmatians in how was dealth with this. It’s be super cool if the Sarmatian tattoo practice could be incorporated in this, with bonus points for small differences playing between Bors and Dagonet as well.
• I love the physicality of this canon, there’s all the fighting of course, but these three are also so very affectuous with each other, I like to think that carries over to their sex-life. All the manhandling, rolling around, struggling for being on top. I like to think Vanora makes up for her lack of physical strength (in comparison) with the strength of her personality. 
• I’d really like to know more about Vanora in general. The possibilities are all so intriguing. What we know is that she’s kind and caring and raising 11 kids. Since she’s relatively young, I always assume a couple of those at least are adopted. She sings about Home and it’s implied she’s singing about Sarmatia, but since we don’t see any girls being displaced by the Romans, I think that she’s the daughter of a former Sarmatian knight with a British woman. Which I love because Culture Clash! And fuck it, a woman raising that many kids deserves two men to help her.
• There’s also Bors idea of settling in Britain, which I love, because again, culture clash, and also Bors is just such a soldier, the idea of him trying his hand at farming cracks me up. But I also imagine them all going back to Sarmatia, and like trying to settle in a life there that they lost a long time ago, because when you spent such a formative part of your youth away from your culture, it’s bound to feel alien. Speaking of Sarmatia, apparently they were known for having Warrior Women, so a fic where Vanora’s kind but bossy nature is what attracts them to her would be lovely. 
• This can all be established relationship, or them getting together, either with something already being there between two of them (Bors/Vanora, or Bors/Dagonet) and the third one balancing it all out. The Romancing and Seduction of one Silent Stoic Soldier called Dagonet, by means of Stray Children, Foul Language and Excellent Sex, a novel by Vanora, with annotations by Bors, would be glorious.