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Dear Chocolatier! 

I’m looking forward to your gift immensely! I love the idea behind this exchange and for me it's the kick-off for a new season of exchanges, which makes it all the more fun! I’ve written the following letter as a sort of buffet so you can pick and select whatever catches your fancy and write something we’ll both enjoy. I love both shorter fic and longfic. Specifically for this exchange, which is supposed to be low-pressure, feel free to write a snap-shot for any of my longer and plottier prompts. I'm just bad at writing short ones, I don't expect an Epic. I’m a firm believer in Optional Details are Optional, so as long as you respect my few DNWs it’s going to be great!

If you feel the urge to learn more about me, I can be found on AO3 as [ profile] Pameluke and on tumblr as [ profile] janoda

Please no references, even implied or offhand, to anything terrorism related, civilians dying, or bombs. Thank you.
Regarding violence and other possible triggering things, if it happens to characters in canon, I can deal with it happening to them in fic. Basically, I can deal with everything as long as it at the same intensity level of canon.
  • No Requested Characters Doing Non-Con
  • No Power Imbalance between requested characters, so if Under Influence (alcohol, drugs, Heats, Sex-Pollen… I prefer ALL of them to be Under Influence)
  • No Underage
  • No Violence Between Characters I’ve requested
  • No Character Death (with characters who die in canon, either set the story before they die, or make it an X Lives AU)
  • No Humiliation
  • No Infantilisation, please don’t describe adults as boys or girls
  • No Scat
Otherwise, I’m game. The rating can be as high or low as you want, as long as it’s consensual I’m okay with any kink, and the fouler the language the better.


I love canon fic, slice of life fic, expansion on world building, adventures in nature, food and cooking related fic, loyalty kink, competence kink, hurt-comfort, found families, random domesticity and slice of life fic. I love fic in which a relationship is explored, and don’t mind if that’s the main plot. I can deal with angst, but I’d like to have some kind of happy resolution at the end, even if it’s Happy For Now. I’d prefer all fic to be set in their respective Canons, but I definitely love Alternate Canons and Canon Divergences. I’m very big on a lot of tropes. I love tropes. Seriously, give me all the fandom cliches, I gobble them up. I especially love inversions and subversions, or just played straight.
Some of my favorites:
  • Soulbonds, in all forms, with marks or no marks, with relationships between the actual bonds or out of them, telepathic powers, or only bad side-effects.
  • Fake relationships that turn real. In all forms. For all reasons
  • Living by the Nile, or “What feelings? Me? No Way, Good Sir, Never (I love you)”
  • Awkward Flirting and Awkward Sex
  • Competent People and the People who fall for them, all the Competence Kink, seriously
  • N Times Characters Did A Thing
  • Marriage/Relationship of Convenience, turned REAL
  • Interspecies Relationships, especially when there’s lots of cultural differences
General things I like for all pairings and fandoms I’ve requested.
  • Enthusiastic consent, this is my biggest kink always
  • Anal Sex, Vaginal Sex, Oral Sex, Non-Penetrative Sex, Cunnilingus, Blow Jobs, Rimming, Fingerfucking
  • Awkward Sex, Awkward Sexual Situations, especially if there’s a lot of laughter during sex
  • Biting, Claiming Bites, Marking
  • Body Worship
  • Desperate Arousal/Sexual Frustration, Desperate Sex
  • Floor Sex, Wall Sex, Table Sex, Sex On/Against Surfaces
  • Lazy/Gentle Sex, Comfort Sex
  • Manhandling/Shows of Athleticism During Sex
  • Outdoor Sex, Sex in Nature
  • Pegging, Sex Toys
  • Reunion Sex
  • Something Made Them Do It (All of them)
  • Wet & Messy
In general, I like narrative sex and a little plot with my porn. I love character introspection, character development, and relationship development through sex. For me, sex is both about the pleasure people can derive from each other and about the emotional connection that can be made. Everything is hotter when emotions are involved. You can ignore everything that’s not to your liking or doesn’t inspire you. On to the fandom-specific stuff, YAY. 

Who I requested: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood

What I love about them: I love Alec because he's blunt to a fault, has zero chill once he's decided on something, and because of his loyalty and care for his family, especially his siblings. I love that despite that he is very reserved, how deep he feels is still always so very obvious. I will never be over the fact that his most prominent rune is Deflect, just fuck Alec, it’s okay to be SEEN, it’s okay to be valued. I have a lot of feelings about how he dealt with being in the closet (I think the show handled that subject well), and how he came out of it.

I love Magnus because despite living over 400 of years, he still cares about people, he still dares to love, and he fucking owns being himself. . He’s this super powerful magic user, but his main weapon are his flair and his words. He pretends to not care and be selfish, but he rescues his people, saves Luke, tries to save Izzy, and doesn’t give up on Alec. He’s just one mask on top of another, and he very rarely drops them.

I love that both Alec and Magnus lower their defences with each other. I love that it was so obviously attraction at first sight, and so strong. I love that they're both blunt and honest with each other, and that they don't hesitate to push and pull. I love that despite all that they're so fucking soft and tender with one another. I love that they're both so attracted to each others' competence and skill. 

Prompts: Feel free to cut and paste to you liking, I’m jonising for anything for them really, as long as it has a happy ending, I’ll be happy. I'm a spoiler-ho, so feel free to include anything from the currently airing season, or speculate about what's coming.

  • Dating Fic. Not necessarily the first, can be further on in the relationship. I think Alec and Magnus would have somewhat different ideas of what constitutes as a date, and I’d love the confrontation of that. Also, the possibilities with Magnus’ portals are just so endless, where can they go? I’m also very fond of how Alec is this mix of confident and no chill going for it, and shy and flustered. Same with Magnus, he’s pretty guarded and deflecting with all his flair and sass, but he lets himself be vulnerable with Alec. I’d love for these dynamics to evolve through dating.
  • Dates Gone Awry Fic. I imagine that with Alec shadowhunting and Magnus warlocking there’s be a lot of shenanigans interrupting their dates - especially if they go out in Downworlder establishments. I’d love for them to have to team up for a case somewhere, and have to learn to fight and work together. I love that they’re both attracted to how competent they are at what they do, but I also think they’d both be protective of one another, so would have to learn to actually fight together.
  • Anything focusing on the cultural differences between them, which must show in all kinds of different areas, from their idea of what constitutes a proper massage, to how to properly woo someone, to more serious things like mourning the dead, or how to be in a relationship.
  • I have a huge thing for people painting each others nails. Either Alec painting Magnus’s, or Magnus painting Alec’s. Can be finger or toes, it’s the kind of feel good intimacy I really enjoy.
  • Likewise, I’m very much in Alec trying out (and liking) panties, and generally into Alec appreciating Magnus’s clothes. There’s a bunch of fic where Magnus magicks away his clothes with a snap of his fingers, but I like to think that Alec would enjoy taking off his outfits piece by piece, unwrapping him like the gift to mankind he his.  
  • I’m super intrigued by Alec’s runes and why he has the ones he has, and I imagine Magnus would be as well. So a fic with Body Worship would be super nice, especially if not only focussing on Alec’s runes, but also his scars. Also, I am convinced Magnus has hidden piercings and/or tattoos, so feel free to go wild on that side as well. Anything about Magnus' jewellery basically.
  • Since Alec is pretty new to all this, I’m totally down to all the sexual experimenting, trying out new things, and the occasional awkward sex when things go wrong. I love that they both let their guards down for each other, so I imagine they laugh a lot in bed (BECAUSE THEY DESERVE ALL THE LAUGHTER). I'm not into Alec as a blushing virgin though, he's never been shy around Magnus, I don't think that changes in bed.
  • Magnus is quite magical, so, so must be the sex, I think. Don’t tell me Alec hasn’t fantasies about how Magnus could use magic during sex. 


Who I requested: Barabas Gilliam/Christopher Steed

Why I Love Them: I’ve liked Barabas since he started as one of Kate’s dedicated Bouda’s, but I think I really fell in love with him when he came to Andrea’s rescue like an Avenging Angel Lawyer of Doom. What a crowning moment of awesome. I love that’s he as fiery as his hair, but also calculated and observing and great at lawyering. I love how he always falls for emotionally unavailable people, knows it, and yet repeats his mistake all over again. I love how he avoids his own problems by helping other people with theirs. He’s so human, weremongoose or not.

Christopher was always a bit of a mystery, because his mind was so fucked up, but I loved how he managed to be kind and generous despite that. Him being the one to make the panacea was such a twist, I’m still in awe of that. And now, with the whole Deimos thing and him turning out to have been Roland’s right hand… So much possibilities! I love how these books let people redeem themselves, and I’m hoping that’ll be the case for Christopher as well.

Barabas/Christopher: I shipped them from the moment Barabas pulled Christopher from his cage and Christopher thought he was an angel. I love how caring for Christopher centered Barabas in a way, and I love how Barabas panicked completely once Christopher fixed his brains and threw feelings in the mix. Christopher saying “I love him” nearly killed me, seriously. I want them to be happy so fucking much.

Prompts: I’m completely caught up with all novellas and the latest book, so feel free to incorporate anything from those.
  • I love the scene where Barabas is all “I don’t need to see him in a suit” because Christopher will be irrestistable, and I assume he wants to figure out his feelings first. I’d love fic where Barabas Sees Christopher In A Suit. I’m assuming that happened on Kate’s wedding anyway, but any other occasion is fine too. Just Barabas and Christopher getting together and facing their feelings through the power of suit-porn.
  • It’s really cliché, but argh I’m so here for the healing power of love. They both have a bunch of issues, and both could use someone to just love them and take care of them, do genuinely nice things just because. I think they could be so good for one another, in a slow burn, tender, careful kind of way. (If you want to throw some Healing Cocks in there, I’m super game too)
  • I love their relationship with food, Barabas making sure Christopher eats at all, Christopher helping out in the kitchen because Barabas is a terrible cook. Now that they’re both in a better place, I’d love those aspects thrown together with the shapeshifter courting traditions. What do weremongoose even do to show their affection?
  • Them getting to terms with the fact that Christopher was indeed the Right Hand to an Evil Overlord, had ambitions, was the best Vampire pilot of his generation… He has regrets and while Kate is fine with Christopher being a new person, I think Barabas might need some time to wrap his head around that.
  • Barabas having to come to Christopher’s rescue being all lawyery and competent, and Christopher being equally awed by Barabas’ brilliance as Barabas is in awe of Christopher’s genius.
  • If you’re in the mood to write some smut, feel free! I think they’d be prime candidates for THANK FUCK YOU’RE ALIVE, LET’S FUCK sex, to only afterwards deal with their feelings.

Who I requested: Condari Rahnbada neKeatus Brithanas/Noriana Ember maDione 
Why I love them:  I love Nori's loyalty to her family, both by blood and by choice, and how she struggles now that she needs to calculate Rishte into her loyalties. I love her struggle with the alien inside her head, and the expectations put upon her. She’s many things for many people, but I always felt the book set her up for finding out who she wanted to be for herself. I love her relationship with her brother as well, supportive siblings are my weakness.

I love how Condari is built out of contradictions. Rich and spoiled and comfortable, yet totally willing to do his own dirty work, or hiking through the woods. I like how he’s obviously interested in Nori, and while pursuing her rather determently, still always respects her boundaries.

I love, love, love the sexual tension between these two. Their backgrounds are so different, and their goals only seldom truly line up, but the tension and attraction and respect is so palpatable between them. This book so obviously set things up for Things to happen, and then it stopped. I WANT MORE. WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?

  • How does he adapt to her actual life when she's not traveling? Will Nori eventually give Condari his shirt back? Will Condari manage to hire Nori as a scout? The politics of this series are so complicated and convoluted, I’d love something that ran with that, and made sense of everything that was set-up in the Wolf in Night Book. 
  • I love the nature and the adventures in the wild these books have. The rockclimbing, the traveling on dnu, the wildness of the environment. I love all the different counties and cultures and the fact that there’s nine moons and that those mess up the tides. So any adventures of them facing nature and the environment together and facing their emotions because of it. Frozen in and huddling for warmth, getting naked to cross bodies of water, romantic conversations by the camp fire...
  • I ADORE the wolfwalking, telepathic animals were my thing as a teenager, and I never got over it when it came to these books. Anythingwhere Rishte plays matchmaker would be amazing.
  • The sexual tension between these two is so palpatable, at some point in their future together it is so going to break. Possibly at the worst possibly moment. Ideally somewhere in the wilderness, so they can roll through the leaves, pin each other against trees and destroy some bushes in the process.  
  • Speaking of bushes, the nature is deadly and unexpected in canon, so Sex Pollen is definitely a thing in this universe. Or you know, the aliens inside Nori’s head make them do it. Some kind of frantic coupling under influence, with then the fallout of them already having feelings for each other.  
  • Obviously the telepathic wolves are canon, but I wouldn’t mind an AU where either one of them is some kind of animal shifter. Cue even more animalistic desires. Non-Human Genitalia only make things more interesting, so Heats, Knotting, Scent Marking, Claiming Bites and other things can all be part of this.
  • I love the extremely convoluted politics, and that everybody is always playing at something. I love the hinted at history, and that there are actual aliens on this planet, who screw things up. The world has a lot of weird and complicated social structures, so I would like to read about them getting married (either established relationship, or arranged marriage for political reasons), and that involving Ritual Sex. There’s the whole canon thing of having stones grafted on the breastbones, so I feel like Public Ritual Sex wouldn’t be that far off. Or as part of the political intrigue going on they totally have to go undercover as a couple. Because people are spying on them/public sex is part of the culture they have to make it really convincing.
  • Another possible scenario for the UST to break would be sparring turning into sex. Have them playfight, train, be all sweaty and filled with adrenaline, and BOOM Condari’s nice clothes get shredded. Twice, because obviously Nori was wearing his shirt.  
Who I requested: Bors/Dagonet/Vanora, aka the Sarmatian Threesome of my heart
Why I love them: Bors: I love Bors' joy in life, how he’s loud and unashamed and possibly a little bit of an actual boar. I love how obviously affectuous he is with those he loves. I love his plans and dreams for the future, how he’s pragmatic, and wants to stay.

I have a weakness for the quiet, silent types with deep waters, and that fits Dagonet to a T. I love how he’s always looking on, and how the few times he speaks, his opinion is the one that shakes the balance. I love how he cares for Lucan, and how he’s so obviously a big softie.

Vanora always stood out to me. Someone who raises 12 kids with a man like Bors, who’ll probably die on the battlefield, asks for a certain kind of willpower I really admire.

Bors/Dagonet/Vanora: There’s this moment relatively early in the movie, when Vanora sings, and Bors and Dagonet share a look, and every time I get fucking emotional about it. They just want to go home, but the Romans fuck them over, and then Dagonet sacrifices himself and I drown in tears. I love the obvious affection Bors feels for both Vanora and Dagonet, I love how Dagonet is this mountain of silent, but deep feelings, and I love how Vanora is possibly the only sensible person in that whole castle. I have a mighty need for the three of them to LIVE happily ever after. Fuck, they’d be hot, and awesome and glorious together. 

Prompts: DAGONET LIVES!!! 
  • I really love the whole Sarmatian Auxiliary to the Roman army angle of King Arthur. 15 years of fighting in a war that is not yours, in a country that isn’t yours, for a country that is not yours. So much drama and fucked-upness right there. I'd love a story that explores how differently the three of them deal with this through the years.
  • I have a theory that obviously Bors’ 12 children are at least 50% strays Dagonet picked up. I’d love a slice of life type fic, where the three (try to) find an escape from the daily chaos of raising 12 children to get laid. Extra kudos if there’s a couple of awkward walk-ins and some failed attempts because sudden interruption. Sex in the outdoors seems like one possible solution to this problem.
  • I did love all the fighting scenes a lot, and angsty fic when someone gets wounded, and the other two comfort them and each other would be delicious.
  • Without the angst I’d also love Post-Battle victory sex, Thank Fuck We’re Alive sex and Dammit, Looking at you fight makes me really horny sex. Could also be Post-Training sex, because I imagine Vanora to be an interested spectator whenever Bors and Dagonet spar. I’m convinced they’d have competitions between them to have the honor of eating Vanora out that evening.
  • I really like seduction fic, so a story of how two of them seduce the third would be totally my jam. I’d love a Soulbond AU, or an Animal Shifter AU, or both. Especially if there’d be cultural differences between the Britons and Sarmatians in how was dealth with this. It’d be super cool if the Sarmatian tattoo practice could be incorporated in this, with bonus points for small differences playing between Bors and Dagonet as well.
  • I love the physicality of this canon, there’s all the fighting of course, but these three are also so very affectuous with each other, I like to think that carries over to their sex-life. All the manhandling, rolling around, struggling for being on top. I like to think Vanora makes up for her lack of physical strength (in comparison) with the strength of her personality.
  • I’d really like to know more about Vanora in general. The possibilities are all so intriguing. What we know is that she’s kind and caring and raising 11 kids. Since she’s relatively young, I always assume a couple of those at least are adopted. She sings about Home and it’s implied she’s singing about Sarmatia, but since we don’t see any girls being displaced by the Romans, I think that she’s the daughter of a former Sarmatian knight with a British woman. Which I love because Culture Clash! And fuck it, a woman raising that many kids deserves two men to help her.
  • There’s also Bors idea of settling in Britain, which I love, because again, culture clash, and also Bors is just such a soldier, the idea of him trying his hand at farming cracks me up. But I also imagine them all going back to Sarmatia, and like trying to settle in a life there that they lost a long time ago, because when you spent such a formative part of your youth away from your culture, it’s bound to feel alien.
  • Speaking of Sarmatia, apparently they were known for having Warrior Women, so a fic where Vanora’s kind but bossy nature is what attracts them to her would be lovely.
  • This can all be established relationship, or them getting together, either with something already being there between two of them (Bors/Vanora, or Bors/Dagonet) and the third one balancing it all out. The Romancing and Seduction of one Silent Stoic Soldier called Dagonet, by means of Stray Children, Foul Language and Excellent Sex, by Vanora, with annotations by Bors, would be glorious.
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